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My life in Tampa

Hi my name is Monica and I'm an addict and an alcoholic. It has taken me from the age of eleven till the age of 19 to admit that. I have been drinking since I was eleven years old. You see my Dad was an addict while I was growing up. So I thought that it was OK to do what Daddy did. My parents didn't seem to mind either. I would come home from my neighbors house so drunk that I was running into walls and was falling all over the place and my parents would say nothing. They would just send me to bed. So I was like; Man this is really OK.

I know I started drinking because my Dad beat my mom. When I drank, I would drink so much that I would feel nothing. So I never had to deal with my emotions. Well I got in a relationship at eleven with this very controlling boy. I thought that's how it was supposed to be. I was raised in that environment. I continued my drinking and eventually got kicked out of my parents house at the age of fifteen. Moved in with my boyfriend. He introduced me to pot. Man I thought that was the greatest feeling. Sitting back with my Lord Calvert Whiskey and my blunt. After a while that just wasn't enough. Once again my boyfriend introduced me to Ecstasy.

By that time I was totally addicted to being high all the time. I had to have something all the time. My boyfriend finally got tired of me using all the time. He dropped me off at a friends house and never talked to me again. So I ended up moving in to the house that I used to go to Raves at. There was a constant supply of drugs. And by the second day I was there I was introduced to cocaine. I totally forgot about Ecstasy.

I was hooked on coke. I used that for months and hated coming down from it. I was introduced to something else. I was introduced to the devil -- Heroin. That was it. That was my love. That was my life. I was only snorting for a while. Then I met my new boyfriend. I didn't know that he shot up for a while. Even though I moved in with him on the first date. I found out and wanted to try it for my self. I shot up once, while making a promise that I would only shoot up every once in a while. Man, was I wrong. I never snorted again. We dealt heroin and crack together so we had a constant supply of both. We were using so much together that I had to start dancing for the money. I loved it at the time. Because a had money for dope anytime that I wanted it.

One day I was late for work. While my boyfriend and I were trying to get our fix, we heard a knock on the door. Any one who does drugs knows the knock of a cop. Well it was them. Someone had ratted on us. I went to jail only two months after I turned eighteen. I only stayed in for a night but I ended up with five counts of possession. Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Xanax, and paraphernalia.

That didn't stop me I got out and as soon as I got home I got high. I stayed high for another four months until I had to go to court. Of course I went to court high. The judge told me I had to take a drug test and if I passed she would put me on monitored house arrest. Well I showed up six hours late and they threw me in jail once again. I was in jail for fifteen days. But still that didn't stop me from getting high. The first thing I did was find me some dope and start selling it again. I took a plea bargain that I would go to an out patient rehab.

Well I went into that rehab with no hope what so ever and no plans to stop. But my eyes opened and I now realize that I am too good for that stuff. I am still a young woman and I have a full life ahead me. I thank god that I went to jail and have an opportunity to change my life. I am well and healthy and now enjoying life sober.





  Richard Boggs, YCQ

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