Hi my name is Monica and I'm an
addict and an alcoholic. It has taken me from the age of eleven till
the age of 19 to admit that. I have been drinking since I was eleven
years old. You see my Dad was an addict while I was growing up. So I
thought that it was OK to do what Daddy did. My parents didn't seem
to mind either. I would come home from my neighbors house so drunk
that I was running into walls and was falling all over the place and
my parents would say nothing. They would just send me to bed. So I
was like; Man this is really OK.
I know I started drinking because my Dad beat my mom. When I
drank, I would drink so much that I would feel nothing. So I never
had to deal with my emotions. Well I got in a relationship at eleven
with this very controlling boy. I thought that's how it was supposed
to be. I was raised in that environment. I continued my drinking and
eventually got kicked out of my parents house at the age of fifteen.
Moved in with my boyfriend. He introduced me to pot. Man I thought
that was the greatest feeling. Sitting back with my Lord Calvert
Whiskey and my blunt. After a while that just wasn't enough. Once
again my boyfriend introduced me to Ecstasy.
By that time I was totally addicted to being high all the time. I
had to have something all the time. My boyfriend finally got tired
of me using all the time. He dropped me off at a friends house and
never talked to me again. So I ended up moving in to the house that
I used to go to Raves at. There was a constant supply of drugs. And
by the second day I was there I was introduced to cocaine. I totally
forgot about Ecstasy.
I was hooked on coke. I used that for months and hated coming
down from it. I was introduced to something else. I was introduced
to the devil -- Heroin. That was it. That was my love. That was my
life. I was only snorting for a while. Then I met my new boyfriend.
I didn't know that he shot up for a while. Even though I moved in
with him on the first date. I found out and wanted to try it for my
self. I shot up once, while making a promise that I would only shoot
up every once in a while. Man, was I wrong. I never snorted again.
We dealt heroin and crack together so we had a constant supply of
both. We were using so much together that I had to start dancing for
the money. I loved it at the time. Because a had money for dope
anytime that I wanted it.
One day I was late for work. While my boyfriend and I were trying
to get our fix, we heard a knock on the door. Any one who does drugs
knows the knock of a cop. Well it was them. Someone had ratted on
us. I went to jail only two months after I turned eighteen. I only
stayed in for a night but I ended up with five counts of possession.
Heroin, Cocaine, LSD, Xanax, and paraphernalia.
That didn't stop me I got out and as soon as I got home I got
high. I stayed high for another four months until I had to go to
court. Of course I went to court high. The judge told me I had to
take a drug test and if I passed she would put me on monitored house
arrest. Well I showed up six hours late and they threw me in jail
once again. I was in jail for fifteen days. But still that didn't
stop me from getting high. The first thing I did was find me some
dope and start selling it again. I took a plea bargain that I would
go to an out patient rehab.
Well I went into that rehab with no hope what so ever and no
plans to stop. But my eyes opened and I now realize that I am too
good for that stuff. I am still a young woman and I have a full life
ahead me. I thank god that I went to jail and have an opportunity to
change my life. I am well and healthy and now enjoying life sober.